I was introduced to this concept by one of my brilliant mentors Saren, the idea of "the stories" that we tell ourselves over and over that ultimately just diminish our potential and rob us of possibility and expansion. My guess is you will have some common themes that connect your stories and influence your perspective of yourself or others. What are the stories that you are telling yourself so your life lines up the way you want? They are designed unintentionally so you can stay where you are and not face the challenging questions or feelings? Our stories work to keep us stuck; they limit our forward motion and perpetuate our fears. They keep us safe in a familiar world of stagnancy and fear-based reality.
Here is an example:
My work requires that I park in the garage above the third floor in order to leave spaces for patients, emergencies, and visitors. Makes sense.. I am healthy and capable to walk without difficulty, But I am now running late, I park on the 2nd floor, I know I shouldn't but why not? There are not many people here, I am sure other people could use the exercise more than me, I don't get paid enough to have to worry about this, I will be late for my meeting if I keep driving and my time is very valuable so why not, nobody will know... but me.
This is my "story", I have found all sorts of ways to justify, to my self, all of the reasons this isn't a problem.even though I have made a commitment to my employer. Whether or not these justifications are true or not are not the point. I am avoiding the real issue. I did not take responsibility to leave early enough to park and I am not owning my problem. I am deflecting the responsibility onto everyone else in order to make myself feel justified and "right". I am desperately trying to convince myself that I am not doing anything wrong. We have small conversations with ourselves... this is a red flag! How many times do you do this? Instead of standing with integrity and honesty you blame, assume and justify.
Be aware as you go about your day, how many times you make up a story to fit your mood, assumptions, motives and desires. We mold our reality to fit our needs so that we stay on top. Here is another approach, when you find yourself doing this... STOP! Own your part in the game, decide who you want to be and lead with integrity. Take responsibility and the consequences that have come with your decisions that lead to this circumstance.
Park on the 4th floor, run like heck to the meeting and then own it. "I very much apologize for being 3 minutes late, it is important to me to honor my commitment to part in the alloted spaces and I did not leave enough time this morning to do that without impacting our meeting. I am sorry and I will commit to leaving earlier tomorrow morning. " Done! Great job! Own it, apologize, and move on!
OWN YOUR STORY AND NOW CHANGE IT.