You, Single-Handedly, Could Tank a Career
Words matter
In 1985, David Blum wrote an article in New York magazine that had catastrophic effects on many careers. He coined the phrase, “Brat Pack'' to highlight the budding careers of many young actors in their 20s (Rob Lowe, Demi Moore, Andrew Mcarthy, Emilio Estevez, and others).
What Blum didn’t anticipate (or think about) was the power of his words. Thirty-five years later, this phrase continues to negatively hang over their heads and is the topic of Andrew Mcarthy’s new documentary, Brats.
One word proved to create immense, and lasting, damage.
Words are intended to capture the moment but rarely articulate accuracy, leaving much to interpretation. Oscar Trimboli reminds us of the 400-125 rule. We think at 400 words per minute yet only speak at 125 words per minute. This leaves almost 2/3 of our thoughts unspoken.
A simple phrase, or comment, has the capacity to make or destroy another person for years. We hold on to words, creating meaning and importance far beyond its intent. We seldom ask for clarity, allowing the scars to erode our confidence.
As a leader, you are not only in the spotlight but your “whisper is heard as a shout.” You no longer have the gift of nuance. Leadership requires intentionality and precision. Carefully chosen words, accurate tone, and thoughtful body language are all elements with which you must consciously utilize.
Leadership can feel exhausting. After all, there are so many eyes and ears hanging on your every word, and so many people interpreting your actions through the lens of insecurity, and adoration.
Remember, your words have consequences, so pick them wisely.
What is your obligation as a leader?
As leaders, our job is to elevate, inspire, and guide the team around us. You orchestrate success and influence change. Your obligation is to be impeccable with your words, actions, and to create clarity for others. From there, let go and allow your team to do what they are capable of.
Blum, 35 years later stands behind his words, despite the negative effects on others. This article "wasn’t meant to destroy anyone but really to just define a group of people in a clever or interesting way." Mcarthy recalls that these words created the feeling of being “unseen.” “You’re easy prey when you’re exposed in that way.”
It’s interesting that two very different interpretations of the same event are all wrapped up in the power of two words.
My Challenge to You:
Create personal awareness: Take your position and its intended, or unintended, consequences seriously. You have the ability to elevate or destroy. Your words have impact and power, so choose carefully.
Pause: Take stock of your emotional state before speaking, and qualify your remarks with a comment as to how you are feeling. “I am feeling disappointed/ frustrated/ angry…” A prequel to your comments will ground your words in context and may help the other person accurately interpret your discussion.
Awareness: As you speak, watch the other person. What is their body language? What is their response? Wilting in their seat, or silence, when you ask for opinions is a sign that you have not connected and may have intimidated your team.
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